Raising Girls – Determination does pay off

My Missy 11 is not afraid or shy to meet her kindy teachers anymore. For 5 long years, she had refused to return to visit her childcare teachers while her brother visited them yearly. When I coaxed her to visit her teachers the first year she left the childcare centre, she shook her head and kept saying no, never providing a reason. I gathered she might be feeling shy.

While this may seem nothing much, it actually brings me to pause for a moment to think about how this little girl has gradually changed so much over the turbulent years. You might ask me what turbulent years when we are talking about pre-teen stage. Oh, if you do ask this question, then chances are that you might belong to the category of having kids below 7yo.

Recently, I met a 13yo sister of my son’s classmate who followed her mum around the guests when her mum hosted a playdate in her house. I was pretty impressed that at a tender age of 13, she was learning the ropes of mingling with adult guests. She stood confidently beside her mum and showed interest in our conversation. When we spoke to her, she looked into our eyes. Such confidence and good social etiquette, I thought to myself. Most kids this age would have shut themselves up in their room and immersed in technology. Most kids would have avoided your eyes when they speak. Yet, this girl bothered to spend her weekend afternoon to talk to adults. I marvelled to her mum on my observation. If only my children would grow up to be like her with a good set of social skills. Her mum whispered back,”She wasn’t like this just a year ago,” and winked at me. Now it is beginning to make some sense.

For those who have daughters especially, may face similar growing up pains that I encounter with my Missy. As a girl, she is fast in all her development from baby to toddler to 7yo to 9yo to now. The fast development includes talking back at early years, lying, being rude, confused and struggling to find an identity like a teen, except she is not yet officially a teen now.

I must say after all these years of handling these disciplinary challenges Continue reading

Getting prepared to be a SAHM

In recent weeks, I have been feeling extremely demoralized at work. I told Kel about calling it quits and taking a break from work.

It didn’t exactly come out as a “break from work”, but it came out much harsher. I told him that I ever gave him a chance to fulfill his dreams and I hope he is able to give me my chance too. I really want to fulfill my dreams once in my lifetime. Or it shall be a lifelong regret for me.

What dream is that? You guess it right: to be a SAHM

After a long, long pause, Kel finally said,”OK, you can quit your job come end of this year and go and fulfill your dreams.”

And I never expected that answer.

I mean, I have lamented, complained, hinted, blatantly spelt, and we have talked about this topic for the longest time. Each time, we both knew it is quite impossible because living in Singapore with single income is too much stress for the bread winner. However, it feels a little different this time. Perhaps my dreams will really come true.

The next day, we brought the kids out and Missy 10 asked to buy some beads from Spotlight to make some crafts. The beads cost $6.99. I thought to myself: If I were no longer working, will I even buy those beads? I had Continue reading

Keep Calm and Mother On

You would have known by now I write many posts on my challenges as a mum of 3.
And many would have remembered my FTWM (Full Time Working Mum) posts, including my A Working Mum’s Woes, Work and family – Are we placing the right priorities, A Laid Back Mum’s price – on academic and Daily routine as a FTWM.
I am happy to share that I am invited to contribute to the parenting book called “KEEP CALM AND MOTHER ON” by Pauline Loh, the editor and Armour Publishing Pte Ltd.

Keep Calm and Mother On

This is not a yet-another-parenting-book but a book that shares 21 mum’s stories and these mums have kids ranging from 1 year old to 21 years old, from babies to National Service Men (Grown up Kids). These authors are well-known mums which include award winning author, Emily Lim, The Straits Times Deputy Editor Clarissa Oon, Founder of Pat’s Schoolhouse Patricia Koh and many inspiring ladies.

I wrote about Staying Sane as a Full-Time Working Mum.
Continue reading

Work and family – are we placing the right priorities?

A few mornings ago, my toddler hugged my leg tightly when I was leaving for work. We were looking at 2 beautiful yellow birds chirping on the neighbour’s flowers. The birds flew away and came back a few times. We watched happily and the toddler could speak in clear sentences to me about the birds were chirping away. I put him down so that he could wear his little slippers to walk about. While he was wearing his slippers, I told him I had to leave for work. So, I began to walk away. He took some time to put on his slippers and with the half dragging of the slippers and half hopping over, he caught up with me who had deliberately walked slowly for him to catch up. He hugged on tightly and chanted “Mama.. Mama..” Argh…. to hell with work. I can’t be bothered if I was late anymore. But I knew I had to leave and briefly stopped and kissed him again. The helper took him away to watch the birds once more. At this moment, I envied the helper. Continue reading

The 5 Things I need to enjoy the important things in life

You can call it resolutions, but I prefer calling it my To-Do-List.

Resolutions seem harder to follow through the year. To-Do-List sounds more like a grocery list of things you must buy, in this case MUST DO.

This year I am getting closer to half of my lifetime (Ha! What’s the average man’s life span these days?), no, not that old, but old enough to look back to my younger days and reflect. Then I realize that I have been way too busy to enjoy the finer details in life. Not finer things in life. But finer details. That’s a difference. Finer details like my children’s childlike look when they talk, when they eat, when they are focusing on an activity. Finer details like appreciating how they think and their views on a topic. Finer details of how they move their bodies when they run, jump and somersault.

It is easy to forget how to enjoy life when you are at the peak of motherhood and career. Not that I am after the career ladder aggressively, but it happens that my recent career switch coincides with the busiest motherhood years.

I find that when one gets older, especially when I become a mum, I treasure my parents more than I ever had. So, my parents are getting older, and my kids are growing up fast, I am at the peak of womanhood and need to maintain my attractiveness and attention to my husband, I need some changes in my life to be able to grab hold of all these things that matter to me most. So, unlike previous years when I tried to make new year resolutions, I think I need a real focus to ensure I do not neglect the most important things in life.

Here are the 5 things I will do to enjoy the IMPORTANT things in life.

I need to….
I am deliberately walking slower these days. I even have to force myself to speak slower. I need to remind myself to slow down my breathing at times. I even suspect sometimes I forget to breathe! To some people, slowing down is easy to achieve, but for an impatient person like me, it is an uphill task. That brings me to yearn for a less hurried life. And my goal is lesser hurrying around my children. Continue reading