When blogging becomes a jealousy affair

Tonight, our bedtime topic with the kids revolves around blogging.

Me: Maybe I should stop blogging…
Children: Why Mummy?
Me: Because Mummy feels that my original blogging purpose is being overtaken by other factors… like… (hard to admit, but I did) jealousy and competition and overexposure of our personal life.
Children: Why don’t you just write in our book diaries…?

I love conversation with the kids. They are so simple.

I don’t know about other parenting bloggers, but from time to time, I am affected by other bloggers getting THAT invite, THAT sponsor, THAT chance on media.

Why did I even expect fame?

I envy Mum in the making, last year’s blog awards winner for Best Family Blog. She said that she rejects all media invites and events so that she has more time for her children. And she has a superb blog with good content and not much sponsored posts. This is exactly the kind of blog I want for myself – to share my parenting experience for future reading by my kids and to inspire other parents out there, without caring much about how popular my blog is.

I love to blog.
I love to share my thoughts and enjoy the interaction with my readers.
I enjoy sharing new places that I have found or been to and hope to inspire other parents to bring their children to enjoy family time, which I find important and rare in the school rat race for Ace results.
I am not tired to write about things close to my heart even though it means sacrificing my sleep to publish that post.
I love to read what others think and am never tired to answer to those who took precious time to comment on my posts.

I write with the thought that my children will read my posts in future and what they might think, especially if it means exposing what should have been kept within the family like that failing of Math exam post.

So, why should I be bothered by the opportunities that other bloggers have and I do not? Why should I even care about the number of likes I have on my facebook page? Why do I host a giveaway with so many mechanics? Why did I even want to be famous? When did I lose my blog purpose?

I try not to lose my blog purpose easily. I always bring myself back to my main blog purpose. I don’t usually have such thoughts. It’s cyclical. It occasionally hits me and I will stop blogging for a while to find my heart for blogging. Then when I don’t feel so strongly on the competition part, I will blog again, and usually with better content.

Just occasionally, I read with envy of other bloggers’ opportunities and lose confidence of my own blog content.

Tonight is that “occasionally“.

I know it has nothing to do with my ability to write good content that causes sponsors not to look for me. Most of the time, popularity plays a big part for fame. And how to gain that popularity? I realize that you have to be very active in social media, like posting lots of pictures on instagram and facebook and twitter to gain lots of likes, which facebook mechanism will ensure more people will see your posts and henceforth, garner more likes and more people will know you. And big companies will look out for how popular your blog is and how much readership you have and tada! You get more and more invites and more opportunities so that your post can reach out to lots of people to meet their aim of publicity.

Do I want to sacrifice my family for such fame? I am not prepared to share lots of my kids’ photos. I do not like to overshare too much “blissful” pictures that people go diabetic just by looking at them. I am uncomfortable to reveal my kids’ exact birth dates. I would not even want to take photos of my neighbourhood for fear of stalkers on my family. No, such exposure is not what I want to exchange for popularity. That’s the problem with parenting bloggers. Your life is so public unless you take great care to protect your family, you risk all of your personal life aired in the open. And that also means it gets harder to be so popular that you get all those opportunities to be famous. And why do I want that kind of fame? Monetizing my blog is never my blog purpose.

I like international bloggers in the WordPress community. There are so many wonderful bloggers who never talk about sponsorship and they write very very good content and have amazing large group of followers. One of the blogger whom I know is an expat in Singapore who writes about travel tips and family on Journey of the Fabulist. She has amazing interaction with her readers and for sure, she gets lots of sponsor opportunities, but she just can’t be bothered with them and just keeps on writing what she likes. And that’s what keeps her readers loving her. I am one of those readers.

I am going to offend many bloggers with my thoughts here…

I feel that there are not many Singapore bloggers like Journey of the Fabulist and Mum in the Making who genuinely blog, not for the sake of “opportunities”. And that probably includes me too since I do feel green with envy at the opportunities of other bloggers at times. I am quite ashamed of that and I feel embarrassed admitting it here on this blog, my blog. But because I want to be truthful to myself and to my readers. I don’t know what reaction people, especially fellow bloggers, will think of me or laugh at me. But I am glad I did right my thoughts out.

It is time I should learn from these 2 mum bloggers as well as other good international bloggers in WordPress. Getting sponsorship should never be my main purpose of blogging. Of course, there is nothing wrong with accepting sponsors since with it, comes lots of amazing opportunities for the blogger and his or her kids, as well as new things to share with the readers. I will still be accepting sponsors too so long that they are in line with my blogging theme and not compromise my blogging purpose.

Good luck to those who are famous out there! I am your supporter for sure. You are probably happy that you have my jealousy. But I am not prepared to sacrifice so much of my personal life for fame like you do. And I know you are happy being popular. And I will be happily serving my small group of ardent readers through my heart felt thoughts posts and genuine sharing of parenting information, new places to go, and occasionally, embarrassing posts like this one.

27 thoughts on “When blogging becomes a jealousy affair

  1. i love to read your blog…. started only last year…. had never commented in any of your posting and never made use or take part of your give away. just enjoy reading and really like this post of yours. you have full support from silents mummies like me 🙂

    • Thanks 2galsmummy! I am so happy to know I have silent readers who are enjoying my posts like you. This is one of the things that keeps me blogging and sharing my thoughts and hearing others’ thoughts 🙂 Just recently, I remove lots of mechanics from the giveaway posts mainly because I feel giveaways are always a hassle to participate and since I genuinely want to reward my readers, I should not impose so much trouble on them, especially now that I am clear I am not after the numbers anymore 🙂 But it is always the interaction and reading comments, no matter good or bad, that I enjoy most! Having said this, you need not comment on my posts if you do not want to. I am already happy that you break your silence for once to tell me you are with me 🙂

  2. I feel you Christy! I have had amazing opportunities in real life, but with blogging… It takes so much time! Most of the time of something awesome falls my way, (which has only happened once really)… I realized after that it was just too time consuming For the effort. 🙂 I always enjoy your posts (and Bronwyns too!)… You ladies in Singapore are awesome! Thanks for your honesty and candor! It’s refreshing.

  3. Thank you so much! Thanks for telling me you are on the same page! I am sure with your travelling opportunities, you do not need others. Indeed, sponsorship takes up lots of time and the stress that comes with it may not be so worth it. I enjoy your posts too. When I refer to international bloggers on this post, you are certainly one of them! 🙂

  4. you go girl ! I am with you !! Yes envy at times but yes you are right re-look on the purpose of blogging. Like you, I like to share where I have brought the kids to etc and of course the blog is meant for the kids to read the next time ! Some told me to write in to get some discounts in return for a review for the company. I replied no thanks ! I do not want to feel obliged to write for the sake of getting the discounts and I rather enjoy the moments with my children ! To have sponsorship is a bonus, if it doesn’t come to me, so be it =) You’re doing great with your priorities in place !

  5. Don’t worry Christy, you are not alone. I go through this from time to time too. You are better then me already as you have more sponsorship. Lol. I guess we all lose our focus along the way.
    Actually I’m also in a struggle now trying to find the direction of my blog. I want to record the events that happened for my family for memory keepsake but I’m afraid of privacy. And like you, I still want to share my good find with others as I appreciate reading it myself (like your blog). I like your kids answer of keeping a diary. Maybe I should, maybe the solution is just so simple.

    • Kids are so simple aren’t they? The solution is indeed just that: like writing a book diary, blog for passion without caring much about fame or not. And blog with care as well so as not to compromise safety and respect our family while we do so. Let’s stay focus on our blog purpose ya and enjoy writing! To document on your newborn and kids, I understand your dilemma on share or not share their photos. I face that very often and now I seldom put up pictures as I used to before. I try to do up a photo book instead. I have even tried publishing and not sharing on social media too. So as not to let so many people read and yet document quietly.

  6. Wow! I loved your honesty, and it feels like something I could have said! Sometimes I see blog posts and I think, “Like that also can?!” Lol. But to each his own, and I think we are lucky because we don’t blog for a living, so we can pick and choose what we want to do right? And I think your concerns about security is very real – our family had a hit before, which really made me wake up, and now I take it very seriously, but I think we can still share, just with less details and less photos?

    • Hey Mummy Ed, totally agree with you on “Like that also can?” haha!
      I find myself rolling my eyes too at some posts and wondered why people do half past six posts. Aiya, sour grapes talking here lol!
      Anyway, like the way you put it as we have the choice since we are not dependent on blogging for a living. I probably missed the post if you did write on one about security concern hitting your family. It must be a worrying one. I had better start taking care on sharing photos and details from now.

  7. Honestly I’d occasionally have the same jealousy feeling as you too … wondering why other bloggers have so many sponsored posts etc. but those are very minor feelings as I still think blogging is just a hobby and it is not competition. Be proud of yourself, FTWM like us which still can juggle office work, houseworks, children and blogging is amazing! Most importantly, never let blogging affect your family life … Blogging when kids sleeping / nap is just good enough ~ It’s just a hobby 😉

    • Thank you for leaving your comments here! That’s a great encouragement knowing another FTWM patting on the back of this FTWM here. Indeed, blogging is a real hobby! Mustn’t lose focus and priorities. I blog when the kids sleep too. Can’t sacrifice precious time with the kids for hobby 🙂

  8. I struggled some with the fame aspect, especially when I saw other bloggers getting opportunities that I thought I should get. I couldn’t understand how on earth they would get a sponsor when my blog was bigger. So, we all have those types of thoughts.
    And then, I started going through my blog feed, and I started seeing how many of the posts were “sponsored”, and I really didn’t enjoy them as much, I like reading the real life. And there are about 5 blogs that I don’t follow anymore because it was always a sponsored post, it was always an advertisement for one thing or another.

    And, as I was un-following all of those bloggers, I realized, I am a blogger, not a writer, I don’t need to be published. I don’t need to be sponsored, I don’t need to make money with my little space on the internet. I need to share my life and stories and pictures. I want to have fun with it, I don’t want to make it another “job” in my life!

    And, I’m a much happier blogger now! 🙂 I support your decision to just blog, to share a little bit of your world with me! And I thank you for it. I thank you for being true to you, because that is the part of you that I love!

    • Awww… Kate… always always love your comments! Cos you are always ahead of me in life and you always have such sound advice for me! You are certainly the international bloggers I mentioned here too. Love your stories, love your humour, love your funny pictures.

      Totally agree with you on having fun on blogging, not another “job” in life! How very very true! When I accept invites and sponsors, it really did become a chore to blog more than enjoyment. I view it as an informative post to my readers for sponsored posts, but seriously, I enjoy more when I write “Not a sponsored post” on reviews of places or things, and blog about it purely because I like it and want to share about it.

      At times, because I know you and a few WP bloggers are reading my blog, I always have a part of me thinking that I will be turning you guys away if I continue to blog on sponsored posts. And when I do blog on heartfelt posts, I always look forward to hearing comments from all of you. I want to hear your views and how you did what you did if you were in my shoes. That is like an interaction and so beneficial to my learning as a parent.

      Thanks for being always here and bearing with me on “boring” sponsored posts 🙂

  9. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. I’m sure even the most famous bloggers get hit by the green-eyed monster at some point when they see their peers getting a cool sponsorship or other and they don’t. ‘Cos people always think the grass is greener on the other side. And yes, stick to your beliefs and principles. The free stuff and the money is good, but don’t blog because of them. Interestingly enough, I started monetizing my blog because I didn’t want to monetize it. Someone wanted to be featured and I thought I could turn him down by stating I have a high fee of $XXX. LOL. Finding that balance between sponsored and non-sponsored posts is tricky, but necessary. 🙂

    • That’s so interesting Grace! Thanks for leaving your encouraging words here. Indeed very tricky business on blogging. Never expect that blogging can be such a “game” in itself. I wonder how non-bloggers feel reading all these comments about sponsored posts and all and how they take this post. But I think they are clever to know what is going on too. When money and competition come into play, it actually kills some passion and blogging is not so simple anymore.

      • Well… I think it all boils down to the blogger him/herself. For instance… money (in any industry) can “change” a person or reveal his/her true colors. Same for blogging fame and success. If you’re a nice person, you’re a nice person… no matter what. Sometimes we mistake it as competition with others. But actually it is a competition with ourselves… to be better today than we were yesterday. *wink* (I tend to sound very philosophical in the morning)

      • Just read your drama post with xx. I am always on the fence. But judging from the way you give advice here, you can’t be baddie. Salute you for going thru the whole saga and still be positive on blogging. Maybe if it’s me, I’ll quit blogging or switch to private altogether. Blogging business is getting ugly with all these things. That makes so much sense with your morning philosophy here 🙂

  10. Hey Christy! As many shared, you are not alone. I also go through the same rut sometimes and ask myself why I am doing what I am doing and if there is any sense at all. I think it is always good to take a step back and evaluate – which is great! But don’t stop going on! I will still enjoy reading posts from you. 🙂 Sponsored or not! (Sponsored so I can know the good deals out there and not – ‘cos I like to read the daily stuff too!) Jia u! 🙂

  11. Hello Christy! Thanks for sharing what other bloggers may not dare to share…. judging by the responses and love here, you have a following girl and you are not alone! Keep doing what you love and I am sure you be able to strike a balance and let the stars all fall in place… I sometimes wonder if I had offended a particular agency with my honest and frank reviews, as after 2 invitations, they totally forgotten about me for many many months…I thought to myself, did I do anything wrong? Sigh, I could only grit my teeth and soldier on… 🙂

    • Thanks Vet! Ya, it’s tough for me to share this post, cos it reveals the weaker and petty side of me haha. After this post and reading many comments and advices, there is no need to envy others actually. Cos I am really happy with my humble followers and knowing some have been inspired by my sharing is rewarding to me. As for sponsored posts, I don’t care if I offended anyone with my frank reviews. I need to be truthful if the sponsorship is not interesting. No one enjoys reading a fake post. So I think you did a right thing, keep blogging 🙂

  12. Christy, I am also your silent mummy reader supporter! Keep it up with your authentic personality and useful posts. Jia you! 🙂

  13. Thank you for your heartfelt post! Love it. I guess to me, blogging has always been about social capital and sharing information with a community. 🙂

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